Long Week

This week has been a very busy and exhausting week. I buried my Grandpa Wiford this week. One of the hardest weeks in my life.Sometimes, it doesn't seem real that he is gone. Other times it seems so real that you can not handle grief. It wasn't exactly reality for me until I seen him laying in the casket. It was my grandpa, but yet it wasn't.  His body was cold and lifeless. I felt his hands, they were cold and lifeless. It is only his shell, his spirit is in Heaven. I had to remind myself of that when I looked down on his face, longing to wake up and realize I was dreaming, but I wasn't. I said my goodbye and reminded myself he isn't in that casket, but he is with Jesus.
Of course seeing them in the casket gone from this world and it's troubles, creates those haunting questions. Like what really happens when your spirit leaves your body, what did he experience, and it can even make you wonder about heaven. No one knows until they experience it themselves. I wish he could have talked when he left. I wish he could have assured us with his words that there was a Heaven and it was just like the Bible says it is. I do not doubt at all that he is there. I have to leave those questions, and go on what I know from God's Word.
It is so hard to say goodbye. Knowing that they will shut that casket and that will be the last time you will see their face on this earth again. I can't explain the grief and sorrow. It is so hard to imagine your life without them. It is so hard to imagine going to the farm and never seeing him sitting at the kitchen table. It is hard to imagine him not calling on my birthday like he has every year. He has been my favorite grandpa. I miss him so much.
No one understands unless they have been there before. That is the hard part. People say they understand or they just think they do, but they don't. When you lose someone, you are never the same. There is such a void. And, when you hear of other people who have lost loved ones, your heart goes out to them like it had never before. You can understand and you feel the awful grief that they feel.
I am depending on the strength of my Lord to carry me through. I am so glad I have Him to rely on. I can't imagine going through this without Jesus.
Just please keep me and your family in your prayers!!